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"MIND BLOWING... the best book in the world on the subject of dating for men." -Amazon reviewer
"A well-researched counterbalance to all the PUA nonsense out there." -Amazon reviewer
"A rare gem full of excellent dating advice for men." -John
"Every college-aged male should read Changing Your Game, BEFORE they make the big mistakes with women. My son stole my copy, so I bought another one." -Ken L.
Success with women is something any man can achieve. However, achieving this success isn't about tactics, games, or trolling bars to get women into the sack - it's about the rightmindset. Men who succeed with women - whether for an evening or a lifetime - think differently about women and dating.
In her remarkably successful book Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success with Women, psychologist and dating expert Dr. Christie Hartman offers men the research-based truth on what it takes to succeed with women. Christie shows men:
* The #1 predictor of success with women (it's not what you think!)
* Secrets to approaching women... without annoying them
* The best (and worst) places to meet women
* How to read women - even their mixed signals!
Changing Your Game also recognizes that dating in the 21st century is a whole new ballgame and covers such topics as:
* The keys to online dating success
* Tips for dating older women and single moms
* How to successfully seek NSA (No Strings Attached) with women
Filled with plenty of straightforward dating advice and tips for men, along with real-life examples, Changing Your Game will change your dating life for the better.
- Sales Rank: #282574 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-12-08
- Released on: 2011-12-08
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Dr. Christie Hartman is a dating expert, scientist, and author of four dating books.
Most helpful customer reviews
33 of 35 people found the following review helpful.
Different, Mature & For Men
By Regular Reader
There are many books about dating and relationships, for women. If you are a man, your choices are limited to the PUA ( pickup artist ) genre of books. Those books have some useful information in them, but most of the content tends toward an adolescent and sometimes misogynistic tone.
"Changing Your Game" is a dating book for men who are grown-ups.
Dr. Hartman, a psychologist, a dating coach and an author specializing in research based dating advice has written a dating book for men where you will not find two things. You will not find a cookbook of silly tricks for manipulating women. You will also not find an endless list of dating rules that offend your intelligence and that are out of touch with modern life.
Dr. Hartman starts the book, powerfully, with where success in dating also starts: with attitude. The advice is to work yourself into the habit of being a "problem solver" versus a "complainer". When faced with an issue, stew about it less, find ways to fix it more, and find ways to be happy while working on it. This can have a profound effect on your dating life.
People like being around people who solve problems. It is both inspiring and entertaining to watch it happen. It builds their confidence in you as a person and with women it can ignite a spark of attraction.
The second way Dr. Hartman suggests that the reader improve his attitude is to lose his baggage. All feelings come to an end. When you are feeling hurt, feeling resentful, feeling mad, watch it happen and watch the feelings come to a natural end. That is it! No psychobabble. Just shower, rinse and repeat while your baggage melts away making you a more attractive, motivated person to be around.
Many dating experts advise men to change their attitudes to become more attractive to women by "acting like men". They will advise their readers to do such things as pretending to be disinterested, putting on a "bad boy" act, avoid acting like a "nice guy" and learning to drop the signals of dominance. The idea is that women are attracted by more than just looks and these things send the signals for the desired personality traits.
What is golden about Dr. Hartman's advice about attitude is that she gets to the core of what those well meaning tips try to help you mimic, but she actually helps you get to that intangible attractive something without asking you to put on a silly act and by being yourself. A happier self.
These two pieces of advice about attitude are only two of the more powerful points in a fascinating section delineating in depth how attitude effects women and success in dating. This section, alone, is worth more than the price of the book.
Following this section is a powerfully rational set of strategies for success in dating. Success being, finding a woman you will enjoy being with over the long term.
There is solid advice for figuring out what you want. You will be given the concept of "The Two Cs" to guide you. Even better, there are tips to avoid drama. You will be taught how to handle "the beauty", "the bitch" and the "emotional wreck". You will learn how to form your own standards to find the right woman for you and avoid all of the wrong women.
Dr. Hartman explains the real psychology and biology of attraction, not the folklore promoted by self appointed dating experts without academic credentials or familiarity with psychological research.
Other topics covered include detecting interest, detecting disinterest, understanding coded messages ("woman speak" ), dating older women, dating single mothers, online dating, how to reject women, how to turn your own rejections into long term dating success and others.
What is revealed is both unexpected and interesting.
The book ends with a somewhat different, albeit interesting and progressive approach to casual sex.
To sum it up what makes this book special is that it is written for men, it is written for men who are grown-ups who like women, it has some genuinely innovative dating advice and the advice is based on real research by a real professional who knows how to interpret that research. Dr. Hartman also manages to write in a manner that is intelligent while being clear and down to Earth.
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Best dating book
By Greg Ostertag
Changing Your Game by Christie Hartman has been a great investment for myself. This review might be a rush, since I just purchased and read the book in under a week - not that it's too long, it's just I'm not the most avid reader. However, this is the third book I've read in regards to the subject of dating women, and I wish that it was my first!
The things I really liked about this book are the following:
*Great organization. This book is clear and organized. It is easy to follow and I don't end up feeling lost wondering where she is going with what she is saying. This book was very easy to understand. You can definitely tell it was written by someone with a PhD.
*After reading this book, I have felt so much more confident and comfortable talking to women. This is because the way she explained attraction makes complete sense. I wont spoil it for you, but thanks to this book I realized that my previous relationships didn't work out not because I wasn't a Calvin Klein model, or not because I am not outgoing or funny. Rather, I realized that my previous relationships didn't work out because I'm just not compatable with certain women. Knowing this has also made me more aware of the women whom I associate with so I can better decide if a certain girl would really work out for me.
Honestly, this part of the book in itself has really helped me come to peace with even the previous relationship I was in that didn't work out.
*The other topics like about attitude and the different types of relationships people are looking for make so much more sense than the ridiculous tactics Doc Love, Wing Girl Kim, or other PUAs mention. It not only makes a lot more sense, but it isn't as complex to understand neither.
Now I did skip the casual sex part and the part about internet dating. Casual sex doesn't coincide with my personal values and Internet dating doesn't appeal to me. At least not at this time. However, I would still strongly recommend this book to any guy looking to have more success with women. In fact, I already have to a good friend of mine.
Oh, and if from the other reviews you might get the impression this is for older men (that's an impression I first had), it's not. I'm 23 and this book applies to any man no matter his age.
Christie Hartman, thanks for writing this book! You've definitely benefited my life in a good way.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent
By Galen
I just finished Changing Your Game, and was very impressed. I've been divorced almost a year after a 20+ year marriage. I wanted to find a book that takes a respectful and intelligent approach to women and dating -- not a book coaching men on how to tell the right joke to pick up women at bars.
Changing your game starts off by getting you out of the "complainer" mindset. While I feel I have a fairly positive outlook on life, I found that I had not adequately defined what I'm looking for in terms of a relationship. Dr Hartman talks about everything from NSA relationships to long term commitment. The book also helped me understand what elements of compatibility were important to me. I found the chapters on online dating especially helpful. Dr Hartman recommends casting a broad net online instead of narrowly searching for the perfect blonde. She also gives dozens of helpful pointers on developing a decent profile and initiating conversations through dating sites. The book gives lots of practical tips on conversation starters on those first "meet & greet" dates, as well as good lists of what NOT to do on a date (I found I had broken many of those guidelines already).
After being "off the market" for more than 20 years, I needed a book that would help me get my mind around meeting ladies in 2012. This book is written by an intelligent woman and will challenge you to think about women and dating in a new, better way.
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